Sometimes divorce is a terribly traumatic event, and there can be plenty
of explanations as to why. But for others, splitting up can be a grief-filled
experience that brings genuine loss
and wonderful opportunities.
If the latter describes you, and you two simply aren't meant to be
married anymore, but you're good people who are trying to treat each
other decently, here are some great ways to protect your fragility:
1. Keep some distance from each other.
While it may be tempting to remain "friends," and stay close,
this can get a little confusing, especially during the
divorce process. If you can manage to treat each other with respect, that's
great, but you still need a safe, professional distance while you conduct
the business of divorce.
Hopefully one day, your co-parenting partnership will transform into a
new friendship that can flourish.
2. Get a lawyer who's also a mediator.
Let's face it, lawyers prepare you for the worst while mediators try
to bring out your best. The solution? Hire a great divorce mediator who
is also a lawyer. If you're not a war with your spouse, heading to
a sharky lawyer can start one.
If you have a decent relationship, are willing to work with each other
and no huge issues, try
divorce mediation first. You'll save money and are more likely to come out the other
end with the positive aspects of your relationship intact.
3. Spend time as a family.
If it's possible, make time to get together as a family. Take the
kids out to dinner and show them that you both still care about them and
each other. While they're probably going to want you back together,
at least you can demonstrate to them that they still have two loving parents
who value each other, and that you're still a family no matter what.
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