If you take a moment to think about it, there are divorced people everywhere.
You probably have divorced co-workers, divorced family members, divorced
neighbors, and divorced friends.
With roughly 50 percent of first marriages ending in
divorce, it’s become a “normal” part of everyday life. If you’re
currently in an unsatisfying marriage, you might want to appeal to one
of these divorced friends or acquaintances for their thoughts on divorce
and perhaps a little advice.
When you ask them
why they divorced, they may come back with, “We realized we had nothing
in common” or “We grew apart over the years.” Or, they
may be completely mum about the subject.
Divorce is a touchy subject for a lot of people and don’t be surprised
if you find it difficult to get honest answers about why people really
got divorced. In our experience, divorcées make a concentrated
effort to put a smile on their face and offer a watered-down version of
what led to their divorce.
If your wife went from a sweet, girl next-door type to a narcissist with
a passion for spending way too much money after you said “I do”
or if your husband became extremely controlling after the marriage and
his jealousy was the downfall of your marriage – you are not alone.
Marriage can be a beautiful thing, however, it’s not all sunshine
and roses for everyone. In this post, we’re going to ditch all of
the polite versions of why people get divorced and we are going to offer
some insight into the real reasons why people decide to call it quits.
Revealing Reasons Why People Divorce
One spouse wants kids, and the other doesn’t.
Often, couples will get married without ever having “the talk”
about children. Or, one partner will make it clear that they don’t
want children, while the other hopes that after a few years, they will
change their mind. The desire to have children can make or break a marriage.
She can’t imagine him being the father of her children.
A woman marries a man, and she realizes that with his anger issues, he
wouldn’t be a good father. When she realizes that she can’t
imagine him being the father of her children, she asks herself, “What
am I doing with him?”
He’s married to a narcissist.
He’s a kind, loving guy. She’s full of herself, critical,
and has zero empathy for others. Sure, he snagged the prom queen and all
of his friends envied him when they got engaged, but now he realizes that
she’s a narcissist and his marriage is empty.
She cheated on Facebook.
At first, he looked the other way when she seemed to spend all her free
time on Facebook and Instagram. Then, one day she confessed to friending
an ex-boyfriend on Facebook and beginning a full-blown affair.
They married too young.
They married straight out of high school. They were so “in love”
at the time and thought they’d be together forever. After living
in apartments in bad neighborhoods, eating Ramen for dinner, and questioning
why they never went to college, they’re tired of arguing about money
all the time – the fun is gone.
It was a shotgun marriage.
After three months of dating, she got pregnant and he popped the question.
Eight years and three kids later, they’re both thinking, “Why
did I marry this person?”
He couldn’t earn a decent living.
He had a college degree, however, six years went by and he still couldn’t
hold down a decent job. After going through several jobs and spending
more time gaming then looking for a work, she said, “Enough is enough.”
His jealousy was overwhelming.
He had to critique her outfits before she left the house. She wasn’t
allowed to see her friends anymore, and he expected a full report about
other men when she came home from work every day. His jealousy was too
much to bear and she wanted out.
He couldn’t stand her nitpicking.
Once they tied the knot, she became her mother. She became extremely critical
and nitpicked about everything from the way he loaded the dishwasher to
the way he hung up his clothes. After she began criticizing him in public,
he felt like he could no longer breathe and wanted to move on.
They were from two different worlds.
He came from a strict religious upbringing and his parents were wealthy.
She was raised by a single mother with no rules. Once they got over the
“honeymoon phase” of their relationship, they drove each other
crazy with their differing views about education, child raising, success
They were emotionally incompatible.
He was outgoing, loved the outdoors, and a self-proclaimed extrovert.
She was a socially awkward bookworm who wasn’t keen on people, let
alone doing anything outdoors. They had nothing in common and lived completely
He never grew up.
She wanted to spend the evenings with him chatting about their day over
dinner, and the weekends visiting local museums and hiking. All he ever
wanted to do was play video games and hang out with his friends. At the
age of 30, he was still living the life of a teenager.
The passion was dead.
Something happened, the passion was dead and they were no longer attracted
to each other anymore. Both of them yearned to “feel alive” again.
They married for the wrong reasons.
They married to please their friends and family, not themselves. After
a few years of marriage, they realized they wanted to do something else,
with someone else.
She blew all of their money.
When they married, he didn’t realize how bad she was with money.
She went overboard and maxed out all of their credit cards and couldn’t
keep her spending under control. After lying about the price of her designer
handbags and everything else, he couldn’t trust her anymore.
They really did grow apart.
They walked down the aisle in their 20s, but buy their late 30s they were
two very different people. They had different interests and wanted different
things out of life. They truly did “grow apart.”
They had nothing in common.
The saying “opposites attract” only lasts for so long. After
a while, a couple with nothing in common is more like two sailing ships
passing in the night than husband and wife. When they realize they have
absolutely nothing to talk about, they decide they want out.
These are some of the reasons why people
really decide to get a divorce. If you can relate and you’re looking for
a Los Angeles divorce attorney,
contact our firm to schedule a free initial consultation.