We’re not going to candy-coat it, getting a
divorce is stressful. In fact, it may be one of the most stressful times of your
life. But, like all things, divorce is
temporary and eventually one day, it will be simply a memory in the past. If you’re
on the brink of divorce, you have a lot on your mind and reasonably so,
but we assure you, once you get passed the worst of it, the clouds will
start to clear, the hard part will be over, and you’ll start to
enjoy the many benefits of divorce.
Benefits of divorce? You heard us right – benefits – and for
unhappily married spouses there are many. What types of benefits are we referring to? Read on as
we explain the common benefits of divorce, but also the “less talked-about” benefits:
1. You can focus on yourself: For the first time in a long time, you can focus on yourself and taking
care of you. If this means hitting the gym for two-hour sessions, stocking
your fridge with healthy foods that your spouse used to detest, getting
monthly massages, or taking that college class you’ve been dying
to enroll in, as a single person, no one’s going to stop you from
focusing on self-improvement.
2. You can sleep like a baby: Now that you have the bed all to yourself, you can use five pillows, a
huge body pillow, or sleep in silence without listening to your spouse
snore. No one’s kicking you, and you can sleep with your dog or
cat if you please! In other words, you may start getting the best sleep
you’ve had in years.
3. You can take control of your finances: Was your spouse a habitual over-spender? Was your spendthrift spouse always
putting you in debt? Or, perhaps every time you tried to save money, your
spouse wanted to use it for something else. As a single person, you are
100% in charge of your financial destiny.
4. You can begin dating again: If you were married for a long time, the idea of dating again may be a
bit daunting, but then again, it may be exciting to you. Now that you’re
older and wiser, you’re probably going to date a lot differently
the second time around. You’ll have a much better idea of what you
like, what you don’t like and what types of issues or behaviors
are “deal breakers.”
5. You can reinvent yourself: If you’ve been a stay-at-home parent or if you’ve been working
in a dead-end job, you can use your divorce as an excuse to reinvent yourself
and rebuild your life. Depending on your circumstances, this could mean
travelling, going back to school, losing weight, getting a promotion,
moving to another state, or switching careers – the possibilities
6. You can have a happier second marriage: As a divorced person, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what you
want and what you don’t want. In fact, what you want now may be
very different than what you thought you wanted when you got married the
first time around. When you get involved in your next serious relationship,
you won’t be repeating the same mistakes.
7. Getting out of a bad marriage is good for your health: In September,
TIME Magazine published an article entitled,
“How Marriage May Literally Break Your Heart...or Keep it Healthy.” In the
TIME article it says, “There’s a [sic] substantial literature that
suggests that improving people’s management of chronic diseases
like coronary heart disease can be made better or worse by how things
are going in that relationship,” says Timothy Smith a professor
of psychology at the University of Utah. It’s not so much about
how a big marital fight is going to cause a heart attack, but “more
about how a consistent routine of negative interactions is likely to have
a stressful effect on circulation,” according to
8. Your kids will be happier: If your home environment is like World War III, your kids will be much
happier living in two separate households where there’s peace and
Mom and Dad are happy and calm. Surely, a peaceful home environment is
much better for children than a home where parents are throwing insults
and diving into screaming matches on a regular basis. By ending an unhealthy
marriage and later entering into a healthy relationship, you’re
setting a good example for your kids; you’re modeling healthy relationship
behaviors, which they can emulate in adulthood.
9. More financial aid for college-age children: If your children will be heading off to college in the near future, they
may benefit from your divorce in the form of more financial aid. “The
Free Application for Federal Student Aid only requires financial information
from the custodial parent rather than both parents. However, child support
and alimony received from the non-custodial parent must be included on
the FAFSA,” reported
U.S. News & World Report. Depending on your circumstances, your child may be eligible for more financial
aid as a result of your divorce, whether you’re the custodial parent
or the non-custodial parent, that’s a plus.
10. You may be entitled to Social Security perks: If you are older and you were in a long-term marriage, you may be eligible
to file for
Social Security benefits on your spouse’s earning record, even if your spouse remarries.
Your former spouse doesn’t have to know about it and it would not
impact the amount of benefits your spouse would be entitled to.
Need a Los Angeles divorce attorney?
Contact Claery & Hammond, LLC for a free case evaluation. We look forward to serving you.