In today’s day and age, your online presence is important. In reality,
your online presence could be viewed by your boss, co-workers, potential
employers, your spouse’s
divorce attorney, and post-divorce – by your potential date candidates.
If you’re headed towards divorce, or are in the middle of it and
anticipate re-entering the dating scene in the near future, be aware that
Google can be your friend or your enemy.
If you’ve been married for a while, you may not realize that modern
daters are in the practice of turning to Google before agreeing to date
someone new and this applies to people both met online and in person.
For example, suppose a man and a woman met at the Coffee Bean. After hitting
it off in line while waiting for their coffees, the gentleman hands the
woman a small piece of paper with his name and number and a written message
that says, “Give me a call sometime.”
Even though the pair hit it off at the Coffee Bean, the woman doesn’t
dare call or text the handsome stranger until after she Googles his name
and takes a closer look at what Google turns up about him. So, before
you go back on the dating scene, keep this story in mind and think twice
about what your online presence says about you.
If a simple Google search will turn up unflattering information or pictures
of you, it may be time to clean up your online presence before you join
eHarmony, a singles group at your church, or take the leap and download
the Tinder app. For the modern dater, the following types of information
on someone online raises red flags and often causes the possible suitor
to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”
1. The married person.
The Facebook status says he’s married and his account is chockfull
of pictures of his wife and children. If he has an eHarmony account or
is otherwise looking for an extramarital relationship, his marital status
will turn women away – and understandably so.
If you’re still married and you don’t want to change your relationship
status on Facebook until you’re divorced, just realize that dating
may be difficult until the divorce is over. If you and your spouse agree
to date while the divorce is pending, just be prepared to tell the truth
if dates ask you why your Facebook profile says you’re married.
2. The virtual ghost on Google.
For dates that may Internet stalk you before agreeing to go out, if they
Google your name and they can’t find anything – they may wonder
if you actually exist. Or, more specifically, if you’re lying about
who you are. These days, one of the craziest things people can find while
stalking someone online is
nothing. If you’re a ghost on social media or don’t have a LinkedIn
account, potential dates may think you have something to hide.
3. The criminal.
When a guy or gal goes to Google someone’s name and they uncover
public arrest records for something such as driving under the influence
(DUI), often the criminal record will scare the person away and no date
will ever take place.
4. The social media star.
Occasionally, someone will look someone up online and discover that they’re
a social media star of sorts. Perhaps they’ll have an insane number
of followers on Twitter and Instagram, and a huge following. While this
type of attention may be intriguing to some potential suitors, it may
be a complete turnoff to others. So, if you become popular on social media
because you are tracking your weight loss efforts or you become a YouTube
star, just realize that not every romantic interest will be OK with all
5. The negative person.
Suppose you’re active on social media, particularly Facebook and
Twitter as well as other online forums and one thing stands out about
you: You dwell on the negative. If you have countless negative posts all
over your “public” social media accounts and on online chatrooms,
this will almost without question cause potential dates to lose interest
in you. If you’re planning on dating again, you may want to rethink
your online habits.
6. The person who has too much fun.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship but your Facebook, Twitter,
and Instagram posts are full of pictures of you drinking and partying,
these images may not help you reel in likeminded people who are looking
for a meaning relationship. If you don’t want to give the impression
that you’re dating around, you may want to take down a lot of the
partying posts before they turn some truly great people away for good.
7. The complainer.
If your Facebook profile is public and you’ve spent the last six
months ranting and raving about your ex and your divorce, such posts will
not be appealing to a potential mate. Instead of making you look like
an attractive candidate, you will look like a complainer and depending
on your updates, you could look like you’re still hung up on your ex.
8. The narcissist.
If you have gone through a divorce makeover and you have never looked better,
then congratulations! However, if your Facebook and Instagram feed are
full of dozens, if not hundreds of selfies where you’re showing
off your amazing results, you may come across as a narcissist. If others
suspect you have undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you may
want to overhaul your social accounts so you won’t be perceived
that way. After all, you want potential dates to see a well-rounded version
of who you are, not just what you look like on the outside.
Before you go back to dating following your divorce, assess your online
presence and make sure that when people Google your name, they see what
you want them to see. If you don’t Google yourself first, others
may decide not to date you because of what they find online – and
you may never realize that your Google search results (your name) are
acting against you.
Need legal assistance with a family law matter?
Contact the Los Angeles divorce attorneys at Claery & Hammond, LLPfor a confidential, free consultation.