Avoiding Post-Divorce Parenting Mistakes

It is estimated that the divorce rate in the United States is close to 50 percent. This means that millions of parents and children right now are wrestling with the consequences of divorce.

Post-divorce parenting can be fraught with danger – danger that can lead to long-term consequences on top of any damage the divorce has already done.

By learning to recognize common mistakes made by parents during divorce, you can avoid making the same mistakes yourself. Here are some of the biggest and most common mistakes made by divorcing parents:

  • Sabotaging your child's relationship with your ex.
  • Using your child to get information from your ex.
  • Telling your child all of the dirty details of your divorce.
  • Forcing your child to choose sides.
  • Turning family events such as birthdays, holidays, school performances, etc. into uncomfortable occasions for the kids.
  • Depending on your child too much for emotional support.
  • Treating your child like an adult because you're lonely.
  • Spoiling your child because you have guilt over the divorce.

Steps You Can Take Today

First, make a commitment with your ex that you will both avoid making these mistakes. Next, sit down with your ex and agree to set aside any differences and focus on meeting the needs of your children.

Start by making these agreements:

  • Agree with your ex that there will be NO disparaging one another to your children.
  • Forbid your children from speaking disrespectfully about the other parent.
  • Agree never to argue in front of your children.
  • Agree to speak respectfully to each other, at least in earshot of the kids.
  • Agree on a consistent discipline routine in both homes.
  • Maintain open communication with your ex, this way the children are never the primary source of information.
  • Recognize that kids will test parents. Compare notes before jumping to conclusions.

Looking for a Los Angeles divorce attorney? Contact Claery & Hammond, LLP for a free case evaluation!