Why do marriages fail? There are many reasons, unfortunately. Once the honeymoon phase is over, spouses are no longer on their "best behavior" and their real personalities come shining through.
Sometimes it's not so much a personality trait or flaw, but as life throws its hurdles at a couple, they try to cope, and they unintentionally grow apart. Differences about money, disciplining children, family and friends and lifestyle choices drive a big wedge in the relationship.
It happens to roughly 50 percent of first marriages and if you've ever been married for more than a few years, you can understand how life's little battles can snowball until a couple can't take it anymore.
Here are some of the most common causes of marital discord, which can lead to divorce:
- Money troubles. Married couples fight about money all the time. Whether unemployment is the issue, a bankruptcy, a foreclosure, or out of control spending habits are to blame, money is a common cause of divorce.
- A jealous spouse. An overly jealous spouse can come across as controlling and they can impact a husband or wife's happiness. From telling their spouse to change their clothes to not letting them have dinner with friends to stalking their Facebook account, jealousy can lead to divorce.
- Differences on discipline. He was raised by strict military parents and she was raised by wild hippies. Recipe for a childrearing disaster? Maybe. Sometimes the biggest conflicts in a marriage are over how to discipline the couple's children.
- Hating a spouse's friends or family. It happens all the time. She hates his friends because they are immature and they encourage him to flirt. He hates her family because they are judgmental, involved in every aspect of their life and don't give them room to breathe.
- The spouses grew up and apart. They got married in their early 20s, now, 15 years later they are two different people. The couple realizes that after over a decade of marriage, they have nothing in common and they no longer find their relationship satisfying.
- Not carrying their weight. He's been unemployed for two years and all he does is play video games all day and he's not looking for a job while she works 50 hours a week. She's a stay-at-home mom but she's not taking proper care of the house or the children. Sometimes embittered spouses are upset because their husband or wife can't seem to carry their weight in the relationship.
There doesn't have to be an affair for a marriage to suffer irreparable damage, it can be as simple as the couple realizing that aside from physical attraction, they don't have anything in common and they'd prefer to find someone who they can relate to better.
If you are unhappy and seriously considering divorce, reach out to our firm to discuss your situation with a caring and knowledgeable Los Angeles divorce attorney.