Going through a
divorce is a difficult time, but it doesn’t last forever. After you and
your ex have reached an agreement, life can become a new normal, one in
which you are no longer married. When children are involved, many can
fear that the divorce will add a lot of stress to the family, especially
for those little kids who can’t drive themselves yet. However, there
are effective ways for which you and your ex can successfully co-parent
your children together and establish a profitable joint custody schedule
that allows both of you to be equally involved in the lives of your kiddos.
custody comes in a few varieties, in many cases the court will determine that
equal shared custody is what is best for the child and in others one parent
will have more time than another. In the event of the divorce not going
to trial but rather being settled beforehand, the couple can also come
to their own agreement for what they feel is best for the kids. If you
and your spouse are considering a divorce and are feeling overwhelmed
when it comes to being a good parent and yet sharing custody, here are
a few tips to think about. While there is no perfect method for anything
in this world, there are still routes that can be effective and even joyful.
Discuss your thoughts and concerns with your divorce attorney as well
as your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and hopefully you will be able to come to
an agreement that makes you both happy as well as being in the best interest
of the children.
Every other week is a common style of joint custody, especially for parents
who choose to remain in the same area as each other, and the child can
be at their same school in the midst of rotations. Many would say this
tends to be more common for older kids who would rather not float back
and forth every day between their parent’s homes. This method is
basically one week on and one week off for either parent, or then they
would split the holidays as desired. Within the regulations of joint custody,
there are also rules involving how many uninterrupted weeks a parent is
allowed, and how many extra days can be used for a family vacation. Many
parents will also decide that while they only want the kid to switch homes
every week, they may still agree for a mid-week time together as well.
For example, it is mom’s week, but the kids will go over to dads
for dinner on Wednesday and mom will pick them up afterwards.
A 3-4 split is also very common, and many parents feel as this can be quite
successful between the kids and parents who hope to see them more regularly.
Whether the parent gets the kids three days in a row or separately is
their decision and they will also have to agree on which parent gets the
3 or the 4 day time periods. Again, many parents desire to have more frequent
interactions with their kids, so a possible scheduling is one parent has
the kid for 2 days, the other 2 days and the other 3 (a 2-2-3 method)
and therefore every other week one parent will have a longer 3 day period
with their kid.
Lastly, some parents may choose to even split their days, which is common
for odd scheduling shift workers. Say a parent works in the morning, but
is off at lunch, they would then pick up the kid from school while the
other parents are at work and they would spend the evening with their
kid. Once their other parent is off, they will be able to pick up the
kid and spend time with them as well. Often times the divorce is more
difficult for couples, not because they aren’t ready to move on,
but rather they fear how it will affect their children, and yet when they
are able to find a successful method for sharing custody that may ease
some of their anxieties. Is this you? Are you and your spouse considering
a divorce and yet you fear making them live in two different homes? Fear
not, divorce is very common in today’s society and there are many
different ways in which parents can decide to share their custody. Every
family is unique and though it may take time to establish your routine,
it can be done.
Contact Claery & Hammond, LLP today for a divorce and
family law attorney who can help you with your divorce process.