Examine Your Fighting Style Before a Divorce

One of the things that couples should examine before making the decision to divorce is how they argue with one another. Arguing happens in any successful relationship, and does not necessarily indicate divorce is on the horizon. What may indicate a divorce, however, is the way that a couple fights with one another.

Tips To Have Healthy Fights

When a couple argues, it should be with the end goal of creating a peaceful resolution, rather than for control or vengeance against the other. Like anything else in a marriage, an argument is a partnership that needs to be worked out and not a competition.

Some of the ways that a couple can keep fights healthy include:

  • Fighting in private spaces and away from impressionable children that may feel as though the argument is their fault
  • Staying in control of their feelings and not letting the argument get childish or abusive
  • Finishing the argument in an appropriate time without letting it carry on to other arguments
  • Keeping the argument relevant to this issue by not bringing up old fights or sore points
  • Getting real about the underlying feelings to minimize the argument from spreading
  • Keeping dramatics to a minimum and reacting to the argument appropriately
  • Allowing the argument to end with dignity
  • Avoiding character or personal attacks
  • Remaining focused on the end goal of the argument

While getting caught up in the heat of the moment can happen to any couple, the constant use of many dirty-fighting tactics can be an indication of divorce. Working with a counselor can help resolve some of the kinks a couple may face in their fighting style and keep them from facing a serious divorce.