If you're like a lot of people, the concept of divorce can be utterly terrifying to you. Ending a marriage is difficult, even if it truly is "for the best." What if you don't have to go to war? What if your divorce doesn't have to adversely affect your family for years to come?
If the concept of an adversarial divorce scares you, there is a better way. It doesn't have to be extremely painful, and if you can get your spouse on board, you can achieve what's becoming known as the "good divorce."
Celebrities are Doing It, So You Can Too
If you've read the headlines, you may have noticed that there's been a bunch of high-profile celebrities filing for divorce this year.
People may have mocked Gwyneth Paltrow for her "conscious uncoupling" or Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner for vacationing as a family after their split, but when you take a look at it, these positive attitudes are better for the kids and there is something to be learned from these amicable splits.
While distance from one's ex can be nice, more divorcing parents are intentionally living close to each other, sometimes even walking distance apart. This way the kids have easy access to both parents and the separation anxiety is greatly minimized.
Resolving your legal issues without a costly divorce war is smart, and we're seeing it more in our office. Otherwise, a protracted legal battle can drain retirement accounts, and leave less for the divorce settlement. Divorces don't have to end that way.
Mediation is an excellent option that more couples need to consider. It can be completed quickly and it's much less expensive than divorce litigation.
Essentially, achieving a "good divorce" means the couple has to adjust their attitudes towards the breakup. No matter who ended the marriage or why, it's over. The best thing to do is move forward, and try to be as fair and respectful to one another as possible, and to maintain those attitudes for years to come.
Of course, it takes two so both spouses have to agree in order to effectively achieve a good divorce, one that all of your divorced friends and colleagues will envy.