Bonding With Your Children After Divorce

If you are getting a divorce, you may not be 100% certain about how child custody will work out. If domestic violence is not an issue, will one of you have the children more than the other parent?

Or, will you both share custody of the children? If you will be working out a joint custody arrangement, you may go from seeing your child every day to every other week, or something to that effect. Meaning, you may get less face time with your children than you had before the divorce.

As a parent heading for divorce, we hope that whatever your upbringing, or family situation has been up until this point, that you will not use divorce as an excuse to become less involved in your children’s lives. Rather, you will use this golden opportunity to become more engaged in your children’s lives than before.

Your children need two caring parents in their lives. That being said, following these tips will go a long way in maintaining a close bond with your children after the divorce is said and done:

1. Show your children affection.
Children crave love and attention in the form of hugs and kisses, especially youngsters. When parents communicate, “I love you” or “I’m glad you’re my son or daughter,” it builds security and confidence in children.

2. Be supportive and encouraging.
When your child talks, listen. When they talk about their problems, hopes or aspirations, be supportive and encourage them to pursue their ambitions. Children need support and encouragement, and it shows that you care.

3. Spend quality time with your children.
Put down the smartphone, log off Facebook and take a walk with your child, cook dinner together, go camping or to the beach, or tune into a movie on Netflix. What your children really need is quality “time” with you, not the latest video game. Spending time with your child expresses that they are more important than your work or social life.

4. Offer parental advice.
Whether children want to admit it or not, they desperately need their parents’ advice. Having heart-to-heart conversations with your child will make them feel loved and secure, especially when they’re struggling with adolescence.

5. Teach values and integrity.
Children need guidance and a moral campus; it can be very difficult for them to figure things out on their own. It’s critical that parents teach their children about honesty, values and integrity. Since children mirror their parents, one of the best ways to raise an emotionally stable child is to be a good role model and “practice what you preach.”

Need a Los Angeles divorce lawyer? Call Claery & Hammond, LLP to schedule a free case evaluation!

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