We’re not going to candy-coat it, getting a divorce is stressful. In fact, it may be one of the most stressful times of your life. But, like all things, divorce is temporary and eventually one day, it will be simply a memory in the past. If you’re on the brink of divorce, you have a lot on your mind and reasonably so, but we assure you, once you get passed the worst of it, the clouds will start to clear, the hard part will be over, and you’ll start to enjoy the many benefits of divorce.
Benefits of divorce? You heard us right – benefits – and for unhappily married spouses there are many. What types of benefits are we referring to? Read on as we explain the common benefits of divorce, but also the “less talked-about” benefits:
1. You can focus on yourself: For the first time in a long time, you can focus on yourself and taking care of you. If this means hitting the gym for two-hour sessions, stocking your fridge with healthy foods that your spouse used to detest, getting monthly massages, or taking that college class you’ve been dying to enroll in, as a single person, no one’s going to stop you from focusing on self-improvement.
2. You can sleep like a baby: Now that you have the bed all to yourself, you can use five pillows, a huge body pillow, or sleep in silence without listening to your spouse snore. No one’s kicking you, and you can sleep with your dog or cat if you please! In other words, you may start getting the best sleep you’ve had in years.
3. You can take control of your finances: Was your spouse a habitual over-spender? Was your spendthrift spouse always putting you in debt? Or, perhaps every time you tried to save money, your spouse wanted to use it for something else. As a single person, you are 100% in charge of your financial destiny.
4. You can begin dating again: If you were married for a long time, the idea of dating again may be a bit daunting, but then again, it may be exciting to you. Now that you’re older and wiser, you’re probably going to date a lot differently the second time around. You’ll have a much better idea of what you like, what you don’t like and what types of issues or behaviors are “deal breakers.”
5. You can reinvent yourself: If you’ve been a stay-at-home parent or if you’ve been working in a dead-end job, you can use your divorce as an excuse to reinvent yourself and rebuild your life. Depending on your circumstances, this could mean travelling, going back to school, losing weight, getting a promotion, moving to another state, or switching careers – the possibilities are endless.
6. You can have a happier second marriage: As a divorced person, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what you want and what you don’t want. In fact, what you want now may be very different than what you thought you wanted when you got married the first time around. When you get involved in your next serious relationship, you won’t be repeating the same mistakes.
7. Getting out of a bad marriage is good for your health: In September, TIME Magazine published an article entitled, “How Marriage May Literally Break Your Heart...or Keep it Healthy.” In the TIME article it says, “There’s a [sic] substantial literature that suggests that improving people’s management of chronic diseases like coronary heart disease can be made better or worse by how things are going in that relationship,” says Timothy Smith a professor of psychology at the University of Utah. It’s not so much about how a big marital fight is going to cause a heart attack, but “more about how a consistent routine of negative interactions is likely to have a stressful effect on circulation,” according to TIME.
8. Your kids will be happier: If your home environment is like World War III, your kids will be much happier living in two separate households where there’s peace and Mom and Dad are happy and calm. Surely, a peaceful home environment is much better for children than a home where parents are throwing insults and diving into screaming matches on a regular basis. By ending an unhealthy marriage and later entering into a healthy relationship, you’re setting a good example for your kids; you’re modeling healthy relationship behaviors, which they can emulate in adulthood.
9. More financial aid for college-age children: If your children will be heading off to college in the near future, they may benefit from your divorce in the form of more financial aid. “The Free Application for Federal Student Aid only requires financial information from the custodial parent rather than both parents. However, child support and alimony received from the non-custodial parent must be included on the FAFSA,” reported U.S. News & World Report. Depending on your circumstances, your child may be eligible for more financial aid as a result of your divorce, whether you’re the custodial parent or the non-custodial parent, that’s a plus.
10. You may be entitled to Social Security perks: If you are older and you were in a long-term marriage, you may be eligible to file for Social Security benefits on your spouse’s earning record, even if your spouse remarries. Your former spouse doesn’t have to know about it and it would not impact the amount of benefits your spouse would be entitled to.
Need a Los Angeles divorce attorney? Contact Claery & Hammond, LLC for a free case evaluation. We look forward to serving you.